As a mom, I find myself trying to rediscover who I was during my pre-mommy days. All though there are pieces that remain, I find it challenging (okay depressing) to keep up with all of my interests while juggling motherhood. And then add in Pinterest, awesome mommy blogs like The Pioneer Woman, and glaring eyes at the playground when I don’t push my daughter on the swing for the tenth time– I feel like I am failing at being a good mom. I don’t cook. I don’t craft. I don’t play silly games willingly. And it doesn’t help that no matter how much I embrace peaceful parenting, my child still wants to hit, kick, spit, pout and protest when she doesn’t get her way.
So I just want to share a few mantras, inspiration and words that keep me going and feeling positive– even on those rotten WTF days of parenting. Because guess what mama, you are awesome and there is no improvement that needs to be made. Maybe a readjustment on attitude and reactions, but that comes with time and perspective.
6 steps to being awesome just as you are
1. Pause and reflect. When you pause before you speak or act, you are able to respond to this world and the people around you with love and light, seriously. Have you ever not paused, said something super lame, and then hated yourself for saying that lame thing to someone you love? I know, foot in mouth is not tasty. You feel so awesome when you are impeccable with your words. If you haven’t read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, check it out from your local library or buy it on Amazon.
2. Breathe. Man, when you drink good ol’oxygen, it fills your spirit with peace and renewal. Breath gives you more natural energy to get moving. So go ahead and sip some good air every now and then.
3. Connect with people that lift you up. A phone call with a friend or a late night chat at a coffee shop, allows you to vent and release negative energy, followed by support and a good hug. It’s nice having someone in your corner. So go ahead and connect with your positive tribe more often. Make time to talk to people who know you well. They know your heart and truest intentions, and they will highlight those traits in a good conversation when you most need to remember your true awesomemness.
4. Avoid social networks, tv and magazines. When you feel most down, you try to veg and see what everyone else is up to, watch a reality show (that’s so not really reality), or read “self-help” magazines for improvement. Here’s a tip: all of those things can be fun, but they are marketing ploys to make you feel bad about yourself and encourage you to buy things. And you are not a bad person. And you don’t need more stuff. You are awesome just as you are! You do not need to read about the 6 Secrets to flatter abs. You are awesome when you stay present in the moment instead of sharing the moment with “friends” before it’s over. And you are way more awesome than fighting housewives whose homes are too big for a real person to clean. So be just as you are without comparison and unplug.
5. Remember your purpose. Don’t let life’s curveballs and peoples’ successes derail you from your own purpose in life. Your definition of success is so different than your neighbors– your lives will never look the same, so stop comparing. Your purpose can be as simple and bold as being present for your child. Or as extravagant as building a school overseas. No dream is too big or too small.
6. Be happy. A “successful” friend of mine recently shared that nothing else matters unless the parents are happy. So when you are considering a big move, a change in career, or you are not sure what the next step in life will be, try not to worry. Embrace and enjoy those life altering moments and decisions as an an adventure. Weren’t Choose Your Own Adventure books the best? As an adult we forget that the unknown is actually fun. So worry less and smile more (fake it ’til you make it my friend) because your kids pick up on everything. Insecure parents breed insecure children. Your child needs to trust you that everything is okay. So reassure them with a happy dance that everything is okay. And guess what? It is.
Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness: which is more valuable?
Success or failure: which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize that nothing is lacking,
the whole world belongs to you!”
~ Lao Tzu