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What’s Your Less Than Perfect Parenting Confession?

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Written by contributor Arianna Carlson of For the Love of Motherhood


“The best moms are the ones that don’t have any children yet.”
—  Kate Devine Brady


I don’t know about any one else, but I remember before having my son, I thought I knew everything there was to know about parenting.  I was, after all, a teacher.  I had a degree in early childhood education, had been a Nanny, and had worked with children since the time I was fifteen years old.  I even dated a few guys that acted a bit like children.  I was good with kids.  People always marveled at how well I understood them, how patient I was, and how children were drawn to me.

During the early months of pregnancy, my husband and I did our due diligence and talked about how we were going to raise our son.  What we would and wouldn’t do, what kind of parents we would and wouldn’t be.   We had it all figured out, and were sure we were going to be the best parents ever.

Have you ever judged other parents before you had kids of your own?  Not necessarily to their faces; but did you ever give a look, or think to yourself that you would never?  I would never let my baby sleep in bed with me; drink formula or eat anything that wasn’t organic.  I would never let my child throw a temper tantrum in the middle of a toy store; never bribe him with candy; and never put him in front of the television so I could have just 10 minutes of peace.  I would never allow my teenager to talk back to me, get a tattoo or nose ring, and so on, and so forth.

Until…

You had children of your own and you realized just how hard parenting is; the lack of sleep, intimacy with your spouse, and balancing act of it all.  You forgo the homemade pasta with pesto made from the garden, for the boxed Annie’s Macaroni and Cheese.  You give into co-sleeping because you are just too tired to get up for the fifth time in less than two hours.  You hand over the iPad because you want just 10 minutes to finish a conversation with a friend you haven’t been able to talk to in over 6 months.

You just do the best that you can and most of all, you stop judging and begin to understand: the mother who hasn’t slept in three days because her daughter has strep throat and gets ice cream for breakfast because that’s all she’ll eat; or, the mother who’s juggling three babies under the age of four, trying to pay for groceries while her boys are running around the store like wild things; and, the mother who’s child drops his only cookie in the sandbox, so she swiftly picks it, shakes off the sand, and hands it right back to him thinking, “ a little sand never hurt anyone.”

Because as a parent, I know that nobody is perfect.  I’m not.

What are your less than perfect parenting confessions?

 

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16 Responses to What’s Your Less Than Perfect Parenting Confession?

  1. Jen Hansard September 21, 2013 at 9:17 am #

    That Netflix makes a fabulous babysitter for those 1-hour breaks that I desperately need.

    • Arianna Carlson September 22, 2013 at 11:48 am #

      and it’s cheaper than a babysitter. :) thanks for sharing, jen!

  2. Jenni September 21, 2013 at 10:49 am #

    My children watch far too much television and eat far too many cookies. But they are still turning into awesome little people.

    • Arianna Carlson September 22, 2013 at 11:48 am #

      jenni, it’s great to hear that even with all the t.v. and cookies, you are still proud of the people they are becoming. thanks for sharing.

  3. Katie September 21, 2013 at 10:59 am #

    Totally guilty of throwing my kid into bed with me, just for the sake of a full night of uninterrupted sleep. And I once said that I would never, ever co-sleep. Oh well!! I’m well rested and don’t care haha! :)

    Love this, Arianna! And LOVE that YOU are in the stock photo!!! :) :) :)

    • Arianna Carlson September 22, 2013 at 11:49 am #

      katie, you and me both! especially when my husband was away in korea for the year! a well rested mama makes for a better mama, i think. thanks for sharing. xoxo

  4. Kate September 21, 2013 at 6:09 pm #

    All of the above….with the exception of the tattoo and nose ring…and thats probably to come. Oh dear..
    I feel better now… How many Our fathers and Hail Marys… I bet even mother Mary had her moments… After all …we are human..
    Ad that is what makes us so perfectly imperfect.

    Thank you Arianna for always making feel not alone in this journey..
    Love you and your blogs…

    • Arianna Carlson September 22, 2013 at 11:59 am #

      kate- thanks for sharing. i loved your quote you posted on my FB page, “the best moms are the ones that don’t have any children yet”, so much that i had to add it to this posting! you rock. thanks for sharing.

  5. Nicole September 27, 2013 at 7:32 am #

    Amen, Sista! Thanks for making the start to the end of my end of the week that much more enjoyable. Your post was laugh-at-loud-almost-make-me-spit-my-coffee-out funny – so thank you! I could really identify with your story, and although I try hard not to compare myself to other mothers, I do know that I struggle with being the “perfect” mom. After 36 years of life, and a mom of two, I can say that I judge A LOT less than I did before I was a mom. Now, alas, I’m that mom who is somehow able to ignore the whines and pestering in the grocery store, and if my kid’s really hungry I may just crack into a box of crackers….who does that??? Gulp…this mom!

    • Arianna January 25, 2014 at 10:29 am #

      Nicole,

      I have gotten so good at ignoring the whining it makes my husband crazy. He doesn’t understand how I “don’t hear it.” :) I just shrug and suggest he try it.

      Thanks for sharing.

  6. Lisa December 8, 2013 at 6:12 pm #

    Thank you for sharing! I love this. I always buy my girls a donut when I go grocery shopping – gives me a few good minutes to concentrate on my list while they eat. I’m pretty sure the cashiers think I’m crazy for always offing a donut on my kids, but it helps me out so I’m not going to apologize!

    I love your point about doing your best and stop judging. As a mom of three girls, I always tell my friends who are newly pregnant to just stop worrying about what others think and just focus on what’s best for you and your family. It’s a hard piece of advice to truly take, but if we all just worried about ourselves and our own parenting, and less on everyone else and what they’re doing, I think we’d all be better off!

    • Arianna January 25, 2014 at 10:32 am #

      Lisa,

      It is hard to stop worrying about what others think. I find myself still “preforming” in public. :)

      Thanks for sharing.

  7. Jennifer W January 14, 2014 at 1:12 am #

    My kids are teenagers now, and as much as I love them I see what did & didn’t work. Still this helped me feel a little better about the day I had, letting my daughter stay home because she was aching from a broken heart that only got worse as the day progressed. Don’t judge me. I pray the fight in the morning will be won by me easily. Thanks for this.

    • Arianna January 25, 2014 at 10:33 am #

      Jennifer,

      Broken hearts suck! Especially as a teenager. I hope your daughter is feeling better.

      Thanks for sharing.

  8. HeronSister January 17, 2014 at 10:46 am #

    Too many boundaries, too few boundaries. Too little structure, too much structure. Too much focus on the “right” food, not enough focus on the “right” food.

    Letting “ignore bad behaviour” turn into cold rejection. Letting “stay connected during the bad behaviour” turn into an endless time-wasting fiasco.

    And to all the parents I judged so harshly before I became a mother: I am SO sorry! I had no idea….

  9. Arianna January 25, 2014 at 10:34 am #

    HeronSister,

    I accept your apology :)

    Who hasn’t, right?

    Thanks for sharing.

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