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The Motherhood Sorority

motherhood

Written by contributor Arianna Carlson of For the Love of Motherhood

“Because there is no one way to be a perfect parent, but there are a million ways to be a great one.”  Kelle Hampton

Whether you are a stay-at-home or working mom, being a mother can be one of the most difficult things that you have ever done. There will be days that make you wonder if you measure up, if you’re doing you’re best, if you were even meant to be a mother.  You will doubt yourself, judge yourself and feel inadequate.  You’ll compare yourself, blame yourself and maybe even wish you weren’t a mom.

It’s during these times, I reach out to other fellow moms because I know that there is someone else out there who is feeling exactly the way that I do, perhaps even at the exact time.

Moth•er•hood is defined as the state of being a mother.  To me, motherhood is a test of endurance.  Most days, I know I’m a good mom.  Some days, I don’t even care whether or not I am, because I can just look at my son and know that I’m doing it right.

Motherhood is like a sorority, a group of women who fully, and wholehearted understand exactly what you are going through.  There are no words needed, explanations to be given, or excuses to be made.  We’ve been there, done that.  We know exactly how you feel.  It sounds so cliché, doesn’t it?

For me, my biggest challenge is not about being a mother.  I love being a mom.  Sure, not every single moment, but on the most part, I enjoy, even long for moments I can spend with my son.   I find parenting fulfilling and valuable.  I derive pleasure from playing with hot wheels, finger painting, and molding play-dough.

My struggle is more about finding the time to connect with myself outside of my role as “mom.”  As moms, we give so much of ourselves to our children, and expect so little in return.   Lately, however, I’m realizing that it’s time for me to be more than a mom, to remember that the more of myself I keep, the happier I will be for my family.   If we don’t look after ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally, then there is very little left to give.

So, what do I enjoy doing outside of my work and taking care of my son?

As if that’s not enough to figure out, what also gets pushed by the wayside is time with my husband, or the time and space to be a wife.  In today’s fast-paced world, husband and wives gets squeezed between morning rituals, sports, activities, meals, laundry, bath time, bedtime, and everything in between.  Our high-tech immediate world all so often means that texting and emails supplant conversations, either via the phone or face-to-face.  It’s a challenge finding the energy at the end of the day to just connect, even if only for a few minutes.

For today, though, I will not dwell on not being good enough, nor worry that I’m not measuring up.  Instead, I will celebrate Motherhood and take care of me.  Happy Mother’s Day!  How did you celebrate Mother’s Day this year?

–  Photo was taken by the very talented, Katie Witt of www.KatiePhotog.com

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5 Responses to The Motherhood Sorority

  1. Katie Witt May 13, 2013 at 8:27 am #

    Love this!! So happy to have you in my “motherhood sorority” Arianna, and so thankful to you for introducing me to all the other Mamas in my sorority!!

    I hope you had a blessed Mother’s Day!

  2. Kate May 16, 2013 at 8:03 pm #

    Amen sista!!! I love this article. Your words are my thoughts…. I just launched my new venture in life coaching and art therapy specifically designed for mothers.
    It’s called A Mothers Map. Ill share the link via Facebook. I would love your feedback…. It is vital that we discover our purpose and passions in addition to being a mom. I believe giving our children the “best” childhood requires our own inner growth…. You are such an extraordinary woman. Miss you…

  3. Nina May 30, 2013 at 8:31 pm #

    Yes all the way! For me, I know I’ve had guilty thoughts regarding motherhood and can’t imagine anyone else feeling the way I do. So it’s so reassuring to hear other moms going through similar situations. Right now I have two little newborns in addition to a preschooler so I’m just in survival mode 🙂 In time I’ll start enjoying the play doh and the coloring again!

  4. Alice June 16, 2013 at 6:37 am #

    Hi there,

    I totally agree with you that the challenge is not being a mum but remembering to also be you.

    I did not realise this until I read it but when I did it hit me like a train.

    Thank you

    Alice Wright, Newcastle Australia

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